It was still dark, but surprisingly warm, which meant two things. Firstly, it was probably around 5.30am. The morning cold usually started settling in at between 6 and 6.30, so it was always warmer before that, and the best time to get up and get dressed. A quick glance at the clock on the dresser confirmed that - 5.24am. Secondly, it was probably overcast. It was always warmer when it was overcast.
At the height of summer it would already be getting light, but we were past the autumn equinox now, so it would be another hour and a half before the darkness started to recede. Time to put the coffee on.
Today was Wednesday, which was usually my shopping day. I debated whether or not to go up. We were allowed to go out for essential services. I had enough to last the whole lockdown, but in these uncertain times it might be wise to replenish what was used, and keep stock levels up. And I wanted pudding. I never eat pudding, but for the past three days, all I could think about was pudding. Vanilla pudding... chocolate pudding... what other flavours pudding might come in... mmmm, pudding.
Let's face it, getting out would probably be good. I was restless, had weird cravings for pudding, could definitely do with the exercise (it was a 4 km walk to the supermarket and back), and it would likely go a long way to helping my crappy mood.
Heading into town, there was a surprising amount of traffic on the main road. The few businesses that were open were very obvious by the long lines outside - the dairy, the pharmacy, the bank.
I got up to Pak 'n' Save, and looked at the line. it completely circled the parking lot, and was straying out onto the pavement, and it was moving really slowly. There was a guy in high-vis vest yelling "Only five at a time. We're only taking in five at a time, only one from each family". I decided to walk the extra 1/2 km to Countdown, hoping it might be a little better.
At first glance, things looked good, as I couldn't see anything resembling a line in the parking lot. Then I realized - the line wasn't going around the parking lot because it was going around the block instead. In the end, I settled for the Reduced to Clear shop, which mostly stocks end-of-line, expired, and near-expired food items, as well as a few staples like bread and milk. There were only a dozen people in the line there. If nothing else, I should at least be able to get pudding. I needed pudding.
As the line crept forward, I looked at the girl ahead of me, tied on my surgical mask, snapped on my latex gloves, and suddenly felt like some kind of weird pervert or psycho serial killer. Which reminded me, I had the full series of Dexter at the back of the DVD cupboard, and had only seen season one when it was on TV a few years back. I mentally filed that in my "watch while in lockdown" list.
As I surveyed the shelves, it became apparent that most of it was biscuits (cookies), sweets, unhealthy snacks, and junk food, interspersed with various pantry items. I reached for a bag of Peanut Butter and Choc Chunks bikkies. All natural ingredients. Yeah, I could be persuaded with that. Next I spied a packet of chocolate cake bikkies. Very little natural in those, but at this point my mood was even worse than when I left home, so I didn't really care. Into the trolley with them. After that I found a jar of pickled peppers - you never see those in the supermarket, so definitely getting them, a small tin of Spanish smoked paprika, a couple pouches of Chipotle tuna, a bottle of Periperi mayo - that goes great with fish, and a "3 for $2" deal on tins of blackcurrant fizzy drink. Finally, a 2 ltr of milk. No pudding though.
Walking home the back way seemed the best option, then I could swing by the 4 Square (Superette) a couple blocks from home. When I got to the 4 Square, I stood at the back of the line and waited. Eighth in line, that wasn't too bad. The wait was only about 20 minutes. I snagged the last two packets of vanilla pudding mix as well as two chocolate ones, grabbed a dog roll, some sandwich stuff (no bread though - I would have to bake), a box of lemon pepper crumbed fish from the frozens, and a couple tins of fruit. I was horrified at how much it cost - almost my entire food budget for those few items. I had forgotten that prices at these little places were almost double what they were at the big chain supermarkets. At least I got my pudding.
When I got home, Molly was so excited to see me, which helped a lot. While putting the groceries away, I realized I had forgotten to get light bulbs, so would have no light in the kitchen again tonight. Collapsing tearfully onto the sofa to a lunch of peanut butter bikkies and fizzy drink, I looked around. The bed was unmade, the dished not done, I was exhausted, stuffing my face with junk food, and crying because I had forgotten light bulbs. Depression was setting in.
That really surprised me. I was reclusive by nature, having little contact with people for the most part anyway, was a self sufficiency nut and "prepper" from way back, and a huge fan of disaster and end-of-the-world movies. I should be 'living the dream' right now. Instead, I was eating junk food and crying over lightbulbs.
Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. I will need to embark on a serious campaign of cheering myself up, and I'm pretty sure it will involve pudding. And the box of Hypnotic Red hair dye I found under the bathroom sink. But not both together. And definitely no more supermarket trips for a while!
Goodnight all. Stay well and stay safe.
